And everything will work out fine.

I have this thing where I have a degree in translation, but don’t really work in my field. All my coworkers know what my background is so I’m often called upon to review documents or do small translations as a favour – and I really don’t mind doing it. I know that I’m pretty good at linguistic quality assurance (QA) and I take some pride in that fact.

But just because I’m good at it doesn’t mean that I like doing it. Every once in while is okay, but the days on which I do it really make me appreciate the fact that I don’t do it full time.

I work in the area of student financial aid (think government loans and grants), in an eServices shop, so the things I am often asked to review are: announcements around changes to assistance programs, information guides for students, Web site usability testing reports, Web postings and internal memos.

A lot of crap has come across my desk in the last three years. You know, I don’t care if there are typos or a lot of sentences written in a verbal style in a blog or in informal communications, but when I get something to review that is considered “final” by the original author and is chock-full of grammatical atrocities, I kind of want to go hide in our building’s “multipurpose quiet/sick/nap/prayer room” and cry. Sometimes I wonder why some people can manage to get hired and retain employment. I mean, office jobs don’t require supernatural skills, but I think that knowledge of writing principles and basic grammar should be one of the competencies required.

Below are some of my all time #1 favourite English grammar/usage pet peeves. Alright, here it goes:

Misuse of i.e. and e.g.
I mean, I will recognize that id est and exempli gratia are Latin expressions, and English is not a Latin-based language, but if you’re going to use them, please try and learn what they mean. Id est (i.e.) means that is to say and exempli gratia (e.g.) means for example. I find that more often than not, the misuse lies in i.e. rather than e.g. Very seldom will writers actually want to say that is to say (especially in bureaucratic correspondence). If you find that you’re overusing e.g., try changing it up every once in a while with for example or ex.:. Everyone will be happy and I won’t secretly hate you anymore.

Improper structure in bulleted lists
This one can better be illustrated by an example:

Improperly structured bulleted lists are:

• annoying
• a sign of ignorance on the part of the writer
• piss me off

See what I did there? You can say Improperly structured bulleted lists are annoying and Improperly structured bulleted lists are a sign of ignorance, but you can’t say Improperly structured bulleted lists are piss me off. People often forget how they introduced their bulleted list and then go on starting new bullets however they please, which just makes them sound like idiots when angry QA people like me read their writing. I do recognize the usefulness of bulleted list in this age of immediate access to information and A.D.D., but perhaps we could issue licenses to writers before they are allowed to use them? Just a thought!

Spacing after the period
There is only one space after the period. 1992-Wordperfect-with-a-seizure-inducing-blue-background-and-blinking-mouse-cursor called, it wants its extra space after the period back.

On acronyms
Acronyms are pretty awesome. If you work in the government, you know roughly 96% more acronyms than someone who works in the private sector. Acronyms are like our lifeblood here. So if you want people to understand the 38 different acronyms used in your document, use them correctly! First, make sure you spell out the acronym the first time you introduce it in the document, then you can use the acronym by itself for the remainder of the document. Never assume that everyday readers know your 38 different obscure acronyms, because I can pretty much guarantee you that they don’t.

Consistency is your friend
You know, I really don’t care if you spell Web site in one word or two, if you hyphenate post secondary or don’t, I just want you to be consistent. I think less of you if you vary your spelling in one document.

Well I think that’s about all the grammar-and-style-related anger I have to unleash for the moment.
Stay grammatically sound everybody!